"Where I Belong"

I said in a preview post that I had to find subjects to write about. Well, I guess I found one. It's something that's always been a big part of me, the only thing that kept me moving forward : my dreams. I need to write about them as I often feel misunderstood. People think that dreams are useless, that they have to remain dreams and that it's a loss of time to try to reach them. Are you serious? Let me ask you something, people : are you happy? Do you have goals in life? Cause I'm sorry to tell you this, but dreams are nothing but goals. And, yes, I have plenty!

I always had issues with writing about them, because it's so hard to describe something that can't be touched and that you never lived. It's just thoughts that cross your mind, things that you can only imagine. Pretty frustrating actually. But still, it keeps you alive.

Surprisingly, I was inspired enough to write down the right words and to create a whole song called “Where I Belong”.

Have you ever felt like your place isn't where you are ? 100% sure that you belong to another place, far far from here? Have you ever wanted to completely change your life, from A to Z? Have you ever thought nothing is holding you where you are and that leaving could be the best thing that would happen to you?

Well I do. I know my life isn't here, I mean in France. It's much farther than a country next to it. It's on the other side of the ocean, where speaking is singing and where working always pays. I know I'll get there someday, probably soon. But still, I have to wait a bit longer. It feels like a whole lifetime, though it'll come quickly. I just can't wait for my dreams to come alive, for my life to change. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and the few true friends I have here. But I don't belong here. And knowing I'm not the only one to think this helps me.

I tried so many times to write about it, nothing ever came to me, until July 24^th . Why then? I don't really know. Maybe I feel it more and more deep inside, maybe I want it too bad to keep it to myself and words just came by themselves.

Anyway, here they are.

WHERE I BELONG

I'm screaming loud
Cause behind the clouds
I can see the sign
Of dreams being allowed
Right now I'd choose any airline
To go where the sun shines

So many things I would skip
To see those visions I keep
Give my soul a shift
Where each step is a trip
And each day is a gift
I'd just let my senses drift

Come along and take me away
Where I belong just for a day
Feeling the sun rays
There'll be nothing more to say
This is where I'll stay

I'm getting closer to my aim
I start giving it a name
As I dream about it every night
Where smiling is not a shame
And all colors are bright
I know everything will be alright

Come along and take me away
Where I belong just for a day
Feeling the sun rays
There'll be nothing more to say
This is where I'll stay

When I look up at the stars
I know they'll follow me
And I'll see them over there
I will forget about the scars
Cause it's where I need to be
I just have to dare

Come along and take me away
Where I belong just for a day
Feeling the sun rays
There'll be nothing more to say
This is where I'll stay

How To Find Inspiration...

Have you ever felt a lack of inspiration, leading to frustration ? I hate that feeling. You just go through some bad situation, or some “trying time”, and you don't know how to react, or how to act. What a terrible moment !

What do you do to change things? Sometimes, you can't answer that question. So you just wait and see.

But there are so many ways to feel better, to find inspiration. Some are believers, and think God will help them. Well I don't believe in God at all, I mean nothing proves he's existence. Okay, I'm acting in bad faith as I believe in spirits. Yes, I do think we have guardian angels, and I know who mine is. So I find part of my strength in that person because I know it's always going to be okay anyway.

Though I don't always think of that. I need other inspirations to move forward. Everyone can find theirs, I swear. But I'm going to share mine with you all.

My first inspiration comes from the music I listen to.

Music is everything and heals all wounds, that's well known. And the artist who's helped me the most, of course, is Nick Jonas. He's been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of 12 and he never gave up on life. He always shared his experience showing exceptional strength. He's a hero to me, and to millions of people in this world. His talent blows me away, his lyrics go straight to my heart and his voice gives me chills. Songs like A Little Bit Longer or Black Keys guided me for years and still do.

And his speeches are always gifts that feed me. Here's the one I heard when I first saw him in 2009 :

"About 4 years ago, I got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I was scared, I was worried that my dreams that I had wouldn't become true. But on my way to the hospital that night, I made a commitment to myself that I wouldn't let it slow me down. And I'm here tonight to tell you that it hasn't slowed me down. So when that one day comes, and you need to press on the midst of hard times, I encourage you with these words tonight : don't you ever, EVER, let it slow you down. Because I believe in you, and I wanna thank all of you for believing in me. And I want you to know that each time you tell me that my story, me singing this song has inspired you, I just say thank you because what you may not know is that you, all of you are my inspiration.”

Even though he doesn't know me, I know I can always rely on him. I will never stop supporting him and I'll go to all the shows I can until my legs don't bear me, and even further.

Nick's “A Little Bit Longer And I'll Be Fine” Dogtag I bought in December 2008

Is one inspiration enough? Well, I guess so, but once you covered all the aspects of every song, you need more. So I searched and searched, and finally discovered Owl City, a project created by Adam Young. This boy has such an incredible universe, I feel understood every time I listen to his music. Thanks to him, I'm not afraid to be who I am and to show how strange I can be. This is me, like it or leave it. The song that gets the most to me is The Real World, because “reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there”. We're all weird in our way, we just need to find someone or something that makes us understand it's human and normal. I did.

This is all so serious, but we all need some funny things to rely on too. Let me suggest you one blog : http://christablack.com

How did I know about Christa Black? I first saw her in Antwerp during the Jonas Brothers World Tour 2009, where she played the violin for the boys. I recently had enough time to read her blog. She's pretty famous in the USA for her inspirational posts. She talks about life, her experiences, and the questions everybody could ask but never get answers. She actually gives her own answers sharing her vision of the world, and writing about the funny things she went through. You should read it!

These are my biggest inspirations, my dreams left aside, of course. If you have none, keep searching, there are things for you too in this world. We all deserve to be happy, to be inspired.

Don't hesitate to share yours with me, I'm curious.

Here are some more quotes I love.

"Sometimes, it's better to see things playing it simple, black and white, instead of filling it with color and mess the whole picture up." - Nick Jonas

"Live your life knowing that your potential is more than you can comprehend for yourself." - Nick Jonas

"Stop hoping, start believing.” - Joe Jonas

"If I decided I'm the girl to change the world, I can do it anytime.” - Demi Lovato

"Life isn't how you survive in the thunderstorm, but how you dance in the rain.” - Adam Young

"It's not that I don't like to talk, it's just that I don't have anything to say." - Nick Jonas

"Roll out the red carpet for the people that come and go in your life, 9 times outta 10 you'll learn something if you watch. They won't forget the carpet though" - Omarion

"Behind The Gate"

Earlier this week, I've been through some new things (not that new in the end). You know the kind of situation you might wonder how you got in. You think about it and you figure out that it couldn't be any another way. You're nice, sweet, spending all your time (4 years exactly) and energy trying to show someone how great life can be, trying to make that someone smile every single day. Just living your life for someone... who never cared about anything or anyone. All of this was useless. You feel useless. You're broken and wonder if you'll ever be able to trust anyone again.

I'm sure you envy me right now. Well you don't have to. Haha

Yes, I'm smiling now, I've worked at it. It's not easy everyday, but I guess it was harder when this person was around. And I have to admit that I feel free now.

The benefit of all this was that he was my biggest inspiration. I wrote twelve songs about him and all the things he put me through, and now that it's over, I'll have to find other subjects to write about.

Anyway, I didn't know if I could share the thirteenth text I wrote last Monday (right after the final argument occurred). But wait, I have nothing to hide!

So here it is!

BEHIND THE GATE

Beautiful and strong flower

Can you see it smile

Traveled a thousand miles

To get where you are

Shared all its power

To make you grow and see

How great life could be

But it couldn't foresee

On the other side of the gate

The predator shows its claws

The flower's afraid of the weight

Of the damages you can cause

But it'll pass, here starts the wait

Crushed and trampled flower

Can you see it cry

Why can't it fly

It's about to die

Can't get any lower

It was one step too many

When it couldn't take any

No it couldn't foresee

On the other side of the gate

The predator shows its claws

The flower's afraid of the weight

Of the damages you can cause

But it'll pass, here starts the wait

Desperate and useless flower

Kept hoping and praying

When you didn't care about anything

What a time-wasting

Slowly taking back its power

Tired of your words

Which became answers

It flies to a different world

Before This Blog...

As I said, I'll be posting new stuff from now on (drawings, animation movies, music...).

So if you want to see my previous works (Character Design, 2D animation movies, 3D modeling, paintings, pastels, charcoal drawings...), click on the link below :

JESSICADAUSSIN.COM

This Is Me...

First of all, you're, of course, allowed to know who I am.

There's a sentence I love which describes me very well (okay, I admit it, I made it).

« I'm a dreamer who doesn't live in this world but who still loves this life. »

As Adam Young sings it : 

« Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there. » (- The Real World) 

(You need to go check his inspirational blog RIGHT NOW!)

What would life be without dreams? To me, absolutely useless. I know some of you might think that dreams can't become true, but they're actual goals! They help move forward. They keep a smile on someone's face. Oh Gosh, don't let me start on this subject...

So, now you know I'm a dreamer. Which means I need to travel a lot. Though I don't often have the opportunity to do so. I can't complain, I'm 21, and I've been to London, Namur, Antwerp, Geneva, Madrid... And the most wonderful place in the world : The United States of America! New York, Washington, Philadelphia... The best trip of my life!

I fell in love with this country at around 8 and I made a promise to myself that someday, I'd settle there, work there and maybe build a family there. This is my ultimate goal and I'll do everything to reach it.

Oh yes! I also believe in spirits, and I do think I have a guardian angel. Hence the first song I « released » on Youtube called « Prayer To My Guardian Angel ». I know HE's always with me, he helps me everyday. Just like Simba and Kiara, we are one. (Yes, The Lion King is my favorite movie of all time.)

Speaking about The Lion King, I'm a huge fan of Walt Disney and his work. I grew up with his philosophy and got passionate by 2D Animation. That's why I currently am studying in the French Art school Emile Cohl. I want to be a 2D or 3D animator. I dream of joining the Walt Disney Studios someday (Poor manpower resources director Haha).

I revealed that I post songs on Youtube above. Yes, I do! 14 songs have been posted so far Want to listen to them? Have you been nice enough? Well okay, here they are ==> http://youtube.com/JessyMegan). In 4 years, it's not a lot. Sorry, I work hard for my school. Even though I love making music, I still believe there are priorities in life. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't live without music. I can't spend a day without listening to my favorite songs. My MP4 player is my best friend.

What do I listen to?

Jonas Brothers . Adam Young (Owl City, Port Blue, Sky Sailing) . Omarion . Taylor Swift . Michael Jackson . Elvis Presley . Shania Twain . Britney Spears

I'm a fan of the first three artists. I've seen the Jonas Brothers and Omarion live once, Nick Jonas once more, and I'm just getting started. I also want to enter Adam Young's world at least once in my life. It is so dreamy to me!

Wow! I write a lot! I guess I'll stop right now. If you have any question, just go to the comment section and I'll answer it no matter what.

See you soon!