"Where I Belong"

I said in a preview post that I had to find subjects to write about. Well, I guess I found one. It's something that's always been a big part of me, the only thing that kept me moving forward : my dreams. I need to write about them as I often feel misunderstood. People think that dreams are useless, that they have to remain dreams and that it's a loss of time to try to reach them. Are you serious? Let me ask you something, people : are you happy? Do you have goals in life? Cause I'm sorry to tell you this, but dreams are nothing but goals. And, yes, I have plenty!

I always had issues with writing about them, because it's so hard to describe something that can't be touched and that you never lived. It's just thoughts that cross your mind, things that you can only imagine. Pretty frustrating actually. But still, it keeps you alive.

Surprisingly, I was inspired enough to write down the right words and to create a whole song called “Where I Belong”.

Have you ever felt like your place isn't where you are ? 100% sure that you belong to another place, far far from here? Have you ever wanted to completely change your life, from A to Z? Have you ever thought nothing is holding you where you are and that leaving could be the best thing that would happen to you?

Well I do. I know my life isn't here, I mean in France. It's much farther than a country next to it. It's on the other side of the ocean, where speaking is singing and where working always pays. I know I'll get there someday, probably soon. But still, I have to wait a bit longer. It feels like a whole lifetime, though it'll come quickly. I just can't wait for my dreams to come alive, for my life to change. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and the few true friends I have here. But I don't belong here. And knowing I'm not the only one to think this helps me.

I tried so many times to write about it, nothing ever came to me, until July 24^th . Why then? I don't really know. Maybe I feel it more and more deep inside, maybe I want it too bad to keep it to myself and words just came by themselves.

Anyway, here they are.

WHERE I BELONG

I'm screaming loud
Cause behind the clouds
I can see the sign
Of dreams being allowed
Right now I'd choose any airline
To go where the sun shines

So many things I would skip
To see those visions I keep
Give my soul a shift
Where each step is a trip
And each day is a gift
I'd just let my senses drift

Come along and take me away
Where I belong just for a day
Feeling the sun rays
There'll be nothing more to say
This is where I'll stay

I'm getting closer to my aim
I start giving it a name
As I dream about it every night
Where smiling is not a shame
And all colors are bright
I know everything will be alright

Come along and take me away
Where I belong just for a day
Feeling the sun rays
There'll be nothing more to say
This is where I'll stay

When I look up at the stars
I know they'll follow me
And I'll see them over there
I will forget about the scars
Cause it's where I need to be
I just have to dare

Come along and take me away
Where I belong just for a day
Feeling the sun rays
There'll be nothing more to say
This is where I'll stay

"Behind The Gate"

Earlier this week, I've been through some new things (not that new in the end). You know the kind of situation you might wonder how you got in. You think about it and you figure out that it couldn't be any another way. You're nice, sweet, spending all your time (4 years exactly) and energy trying to show someone how great life can be, trying to make that someone smile every single day. Just living your life for someone... who never cared about anything or anyone. All of this was useless. You feel useless. You're broken and wonder if you'll ever be able to trust anyone again.

I'm sure you envy me right now. Well you don't have to. Haha

Yes, I'm smiling now, I've worked at it. It's not easy everyday, but I guess it was harder when this person was around. And I have to admit that I feel free now.

The benefit of all this was that he was my biggest inspiration. I wrote twelve songs about him and all the things he put me through, and now that it's over, I'll have to find other subjects to write about.

Anyway, I didn't know if I could share the thirteenth text I wrote last Monday (right after the final argument occurred). But wait, I have nothing to hide!

So here it is!

BEHIND THE GATE

Beautiful and strong flower

Can you see it smile

Traveled a thousand miles

To get where you are

Shared all its power

To make you grow and see

How great life could be

But it couldn't foresee

On the other side of the gate

The predator shows its claws

The flower's afraid of the weight

Of the damages you can cause

But it'll pass, here starts the wait

Crushed and trampled flower

Can you see it cry

Why can't it fly

It's about to die

Can't get any lower

It was one step too many

When it couldn't take any

No it couldn't foresee

On the other side of the gate

The predator shows its claws

The flower's afraid of the weight

Of the damages you can cause

But it'll pass, here starts the wait

Desperate and useless flower

Kept hoping and praying

When you didn't care about anything

What a time-wasting

Slowly taking back its power

Tired of your words

Which became answers

It flies to a different world

The Book Of Us

I currently am working, among many other things, on a project I started two years ago. Let me explain to you.

Five years ago, I started playing the guitar on my own. I mainly listened to the Jonas Brothers songs at that time and they made me want to play them. The boys were so inspirational and they still are! So I searched for tabs and learned chords. Six months later, I could sing while playing. And one year later, I wrote my first song called “Prayer To My Guardian Angel”.

Three years later, about 20 songs have been made, about 20 more texts written. What inspired me? What I went through, the people I met, the things I've done. And I plan on doing it all my life.

The point is among all those texts, 14 are about one particular person. So I decided two years ago to gather them all to make a little songbook, something I could read in the future and remember what made me a stronger person. I just didn't know how to make a book. It sounded so complicated. And last year, some of my classmates had to make an actual one. This was my chance! I watched them and asked them questions. It's still complicated, but I know I can do it! My aim is not to release it. I just want to have some of my memories written down, and also be sure that I'm doing, and later that I did, something I can show.

Here's a preview of the design of the book.

It won't be a big book, I though 11x11cm would be enough. Not sure the texts will be readable though.

Here are some lyrics that will appear in the book.

This is a TV show

Here's something exciting to follow

Here's the perfect combo

 - TV Show

We were both attracted by some wonderful lines

But we needed to let our thoughts go even more

We would write them all down till the end of the night

No secret, that's what we swore

 - The Book Of Us

He could make you feel guilty

Fot not being what he wants you to be

 - Mister Pride

Oh, you Devil

This is so wicked

How you reach your goal

 - Devil Is Back

We sank into darkness

Because of your selfishness

The sun ran away

And there is nothing to say

 - Shadows In The Wind

As my tears dry

I guess you expected no goodbye

 - Life Is A Risk

I don't want to survive

I just wanna live my life

 - Alive

What do you think? Would you like to see the final book?

Have you ever heard a song of mine? Did you like it?

I hope so!